You may think that “silly,” “clumsy” or “slow” are harmless words that should not bother your children. But in reality, any word that humiliates a child (or anyone else) will always be an insult, and the consequences can be devastating. No matter how old they are, insults will always remain in the hearts of children, creating emotional wounds that are difficult to heal.
Your mission is to protect him
If we insult them, ignore them, yell at them, despise them, humiliate them, beat them, compare them (negatively) with others, abandon them, among other things … when we are supposed to love them, take care of them, teach them, understand them, educate them, accept, protect and embrace them unconditionally. We violate their dignity as human beings who are dependent on us. We should only touch the children to hug, comfort, and kiss them. It is that easy.
Violence causes more violence
Any emotion that is not recognized and accepted becomes self-destructive. We must be very careful not to repeat behavior patterns that you may have lived in the past but that your children do not deserve. You may think that it is something unconscious and that you do not control it, but the reality is that you have the power of your actions and that you can stop treating yourself and your children badly.
An example to consider
Let’s take an example into account to take it from day to day. There is a typical child who is very restless and gets into some mischief. Her mother gets angry and hysterical and starts yelling things like, “I’m sick of you! I can not stand you anymore. I’m tired of dealing with you. “
That mother should be asked: “Are you really fed up, tired and unable to bear your son anymore?” or “Are you really fed up, tired and can’t take your ,child’s ‘behavior’ anymore ?”
Now I ask you, dear reader: Do you see how different the emphasis is? In a situation like this, using emotional intelligence, the way to talk to the child would be: “I am very tired of this behavior. The way you are acting is wrong. I feel frustrated. But I still love you, son. In this way, you send the message to your child that you do not agree with his behavior, but your love for him is and will remain unconditional. You are telling him how you feel, in the first person, and you are not “blaming” him for how he makes you feel.
A technique you must use
If you lose control easily frequently, do not miss the technique that I discuss below. As soon as you feel like you’re losing control, count to ten, take a deep breath and bite your tongue to keep from speaking. Instead of attacking and striking the first strike, reach out and clasp your fingers behind your back.
Instead of saying any insult or word that might hurt your children’s hearts, say things like: “What a dream you have, son” or perhaps “How I love you my life. They are phrases that will divert your mind from the emotional chaos you feel, and your emotional instability will begin to balance.’